If you have ever worked with me directly you probably have heard me say, "I haven't trained my entire life to be more violent. I'm working on being LESS violent."
This is the theme of warrior training: Skills to become a better protector, not a fighter or a thug! That is not to say that you won't have to fight, because as a protector, you WILL have to at some point. It may or may not be a physical engagement, but you will eventually have to make a stand. Just make sure you are fighting for the right thing.
Too often people are quick to protect their relative values (something that they hold as important, but others may not) and forget to filter that value through the Dual Life Value. Meaning are your actions respecting Life and supporting most good / least harm for everyone under each circumstance?
Remember that a protector doesn't always have to fight and a fighter isn't necessarily being a protector.
So how can you tell the difference between training to be a fighter or a protector? Simple, a fighter is training for themselves, their "team," their egos. A protector develops the clarity, skill and courage to utilize her abilities for most good / least harm for everyone. A fighters skills are to dominate and win. A protectors skills are used to serve. A fighter fights for himself, a protector fights for self and others... all others. A fighter often fights because he wants to. A protector fights because they have to, as a last resort to protect life.
Training to be a protector is paradoxical because it needs to encompass: Self, Others & All Others.
I've used the lifeguard v. Olympic swimmer analogy in the past. In short, an Olympic swimmer trains to serve themselves (and to a lessor degree their team), whereas a lifeguard trains for others. Personal performance is needed for both endeavors. If you are training to protect life, you better be good, because it's risky! Remember when you are a protector, more than just your butt is on the line, so your skills have to be good!
The next time you are training or using your conflict management skills ask yourself this:
Can you see the Life that you are protecting inside of the behaviors you are managing in yourself and ALL others? If not, look deeper, soften and... Keep going.
All the best,