In the famous words of the Yoda, "Do or do not, there is no try!"
How many times have you heard someone who was going to do something (fill in the blank), but they never seem to be able to do it? The goal could be a lot of things: lose weight, get out of a bad relationship, go back to school to finish that degree, quit smoking, get in shape, start that business, quit the toxic job they've hated for the last 5 years, go on that vacation, go to martial arts class, spend more time with their kids... the list goes on and on.
Some of these folks are very excited about achieving their goal, so they talk and talk about it. They buy books, watch youtube videos and sometimes even look like they are doing something productive. They are very busy trying, but not very busy doing! They are acting like trybabies.
How do you know if someone is being a trybaby?
First, a trybaby has the wrong focus. They focus on:
- The problem & negative things
- What they can't do
- Busyness vs. effectiveness and efficiency
Another symptom of a trybaby is busyness. They may be so busy being busy that they aren't accomplishing anything toward their goal. "I'm too busy to eat right... I'm too busy to work out..."
Back in my sales days, I knew many sales people who always were scheduling meetings, networking and rushed around like chickens with their heads cut off, but not actually selling anything.
You have to be busy doing the right things!
Some of the most accomplished people I know are busy, but they also seem to have a lot of time. That's because they have figured out how to be busy at the right things. They know how to prioritize, they know what the critical action is vs. just being busy. When you know what the critical point of the critical point is, you can maximize your effectiveness, so your busyness is fruitful and you are more efficient, leaving you more time to do other things.
Just like martial arts. You have to understand what actions are critical in the threat as well as in yourself. Not all actions need to be managed and not all of your movements are necessary. The difference of understanding space, tactical space and critical space is essential. There are certain movements and actions that have varying degrees of critical value in everything that we do be it leadership, defensive tactics, relationships, business, finance, teaching, waging war, inspiring peace, etc.
It can be frustrating being around a trybaby (whether its you or someone you know). So, here are a few survival tips that could help you through.
Shift focus from wahhh to ahhhh:
- Solutions, rather than problems.
- What CAN be done vs. what can't.
- What's the next step (action), rather than who or what to blame.
- Priorities. What are the critical actions vs. any action (busyness).