No, that bald guy isn't me... However there is a 'striking' resemblance!
Is Krav Maga Enough!?
You may think this headline is surprising coming from someone (me) who teaches Krav Maga...
Let me explain...
In today's day and age being able to physically defend yourself is a good start, but it isn't enough!!
You have to have more social skills!
I know that may be difficult to believe in an age where we don't seem to interact face to face very well at all!
However, believe it or not, the way we socially interact has become much more complicated.
Just look at how kids interact with their parents now-a-days...
When I was a kid, if I dared to talk back, show the attitude or disobey my parents, it wasn't a long drawn out sparring match of deescalating, negotiating and rationalizing...
Nope, it was a much shorter matter altogether...
It was a simple 3 step process:
(3) Feel the consequences of my decision
Here's how it went...
First they'd ask me to do something...
If I didn't do it or whined...
Tell me to do it...
If I was disrespectful or didn't do as I was told...
Yep, I'd get a solid hand across my rear end.
No long drawn out, drama filled interactions.
It was as simple as...
So, what happened when I got older?
Well, first off, by that time I was conditioned to show respect and do as I was asked, so that took care of most things.
However, the few times I was too old to spank, but too young to know better, it was...
Yep, the old bar of soap in the mouth trick... followed by being grounded!
Once again, no drawn-out drama, it was...
I remember the ONE TIME I lost it and called my mom a b*tch (yea, not proud of that one... but hey, I was 15...).
I knew I was wrong even as the words were leaving my mouth...
The next thing that happened was the feeling of her hand slapping me across my face...
The stern look she gave me would have made Vladimir Putin himself re-think his decision...
I remember keeping eye contact, while fighting back the tears, not wanting her to see me cry...
Immediately after the sting, I thought 'Oh, sh*t what did I just do!?! I hope she doesn't tell dad, because if she does... My @$$ is grass (as they used to say...)!
Now keep in mind that even at 15, I towered over my mom by almost a foot!
Did I say, I knew that I was wrong even as I uttered that blasphemous word!?
Shortly after the altercation and my emotional state subsided, the feelings of remorse and shame came over me. I lost it and calling my mom something like that wasn’t right.
Later I apologized and we made up...
Luckily for me... she never did tell my dad!
I don't tell that story to Justify the Violence...
...for the record I was not beaten as a child (at least not by my parents).
I had a great childhood. My parents were (are) wonderful. They never hit me without cause, nor did they go too far (which I know isn't always the case with every parent out there.).
But, I knew clearly where the line was... and what happened when I crossed it.
Even with all with the problems my brother had, and his violent, off the hook behavior, he knew at a visceral level never to lay a hand on mom. He knew what dad would do to him if he dared!
We had a healthy respect for both our parents. We knew that they were fair, but firm and when they had to bring the disciplinary hammer down, we deserved what was coming. I know that I was blessed with ethical parents who loved me and knew how to separate discipline from just violence.
I also know that not everyone had that same experience with their family...
Oh, How Things Have Changed!
Whether you think things are better or worse...
The ole' 1-2-3 doesn't work that way today! You have to more socially savvy... That means you have to have a different skill set than just learning how to hit and kick.
Today you have to be able to:
(1) Keep a Cool Head (Baseline)
(2) Communicate More Effectively
(3) Have More Strategy... Way more!
Because we go over these in much greater depth in the PeaceWalker Course, and to save time, I'm going to cut some corners here regarding going into too many details on these points...
By keeping your Baseline I mean that you have to be able to stay grounded:
(a)Tactical (in the moment)
(b) Foundational (in your Life)
Because if you can't keep your cool and control your emotions, then you will not be able to control your actions and that will prevent you from acting in the more sophisticated way necessary to effectively manage the full spectrum of conflict.
Effective COMMUNICATION will largely be verbal (or written), supported by body language and facial expressions, and of course actions that reinforce what you say.
Tactical Verbal (and written) Communication will include:
~ Setting Boundaries
And now a-days you have to be BETTER than ever before in order to not end up with a lawsuit or having CPS knocking at your door...
Yes, you have to understand the key elements of Controlling the Engagement.
Control the battlefield so to speak.
Learning how to control the space around an individual (and situation) is not an easy skill to learn. It takes time and persistence to develop the right perspective... To focus on the right things!
The right type of instruction and instructors!
Try reading Miyomoto Mushashi's Book of Five Rings and squeezing out the lessons... You may need someone to help you decipher Mushashi's words before you have any real chance at applying it in any type of a real situation!
So, What Are You Doing to Hone Your Skills?
Maybe you practice your Krav Maga or Physical Martial Arts Skills every week?
What are you doing to learn and hone your skills at Conflict Communications and Strategy?
If you aren't reading books on keeping your cool, verbal communication and how to think strategically, why not start!?
Although there are many books I could recommend, here are three that come to mind regarding our subject(s) today.
(1) Taming Your Gremlin by Rick Carson (Baseline)
(2) How to Talk to Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere by Larry King (Communication)
(3) The 33 Strategies of War by Robert Greene
They're useful reads to get you going or keep you going on your PeaceWalker Path!